Since young, I always wondered what's it like living in a normal family. This post is not to whine or lament how unfortunate I am, i'm way past that stage. I wanna give an objective assessment of the pros and cons living in a separated family based on my first hand experience. I will probably will read this a few years later and gain some new insights (perhaps ?)
Cons
Emo-ing: Of cos when you are young, kids are still kids. they will miss their mum and cry, whine and bitch like crazy when they dont see the other parent. The longest period that I remember not seeing my mum was like for 2 years. My father used game gear, super ninetendo etc to pacify me. I must say that works pretty well (:p). Materialism has somehow took over that void. For others, it maybe some others things. For me at that point in time, guess it was games and soccer.
he speaks she speaks In a way, living without a female prescence in the family somehow make you more chauvinistic and guy-ish (whatever that means). Why is that so ? Because i lived more than half my life listening to a man telling me what to do. So naturally, I think it instills in your subconscious that you trust a guy (cos of my father) to do more what he says than what she says. FYI, i recognize this as a fact and that's why I labelled this as a con not to offend any feminist. (:p).
"i'm sorry to hear that". Kids from divored family often will be asked why their parents divorced and since 8 i've been constantly asked that and it always end with "i'm sorry to hear that". As usual, we'll say it's alright and the truth is it's really too long ago to matter. But what we probably cant' stand is the sympathetic look towards you as though you suvived the horrible world war or something. Sure, it's tough but the tough gets going. Many times, think kids just wanted to be treated like normal with as little discrimination as possible. But once you older, you tend to be more liberated and more confident of all the strange looks.
The house is quieter, It really does ! and gosh it may be good and bad but I think i talk a lot less at home than i do with friends. Keep to yourself more ? perhaps.
Who do you pay to ? One man one salary 2 different homes. it's like how can you help with both household bills ? It's impossible but at the same time you want to be fair. A very tricky situation really.
Pros
Living like a king. The feeling is like double the love from a normal family because you get the whole attention of one parent when you hang out with them. that's definitely a big thumbs up really. Some families have many children, parental love and care is always divided no matter what they say. There's always a special one like probably the youngest son or daughter, think i read the article somewehere. In a separated family, you really get all the attention you want abeit at certain times only when you meet them.
independent thinking many of the life decision that i take, i do it based on my own research, judgment. Think it was purely my own decision to wanan take triple science in secondary school, engineering in university, stay single at late 20s ! HAHA. One particular memorable one was to join soccer as as CCA and give my all in JC1. HA, that was epic. told my mum i dont want to study but really play soccer and try to nake it as a professional. Imagine the horrors on her face. Tried it out for a year failed and returned back to studies. haha. JC S paper was like my message to her, if i wan it i can do it and i am in control of what i am doing.
On the topic of divorce, the bible gives a very clear message to the world in Mark 10.
1. Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
2Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’a 7‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,b 8and the two will become one flesh.’c So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.11He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
They key sentence for me is Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.
Some friends ask me if i've phobia of marriage since I very often tell them i dont want to get married until 35. It's actually the very opposite, I treat it with the upmost sacredness. If you cant find your soulmate, I rather not risk settling for second best and marrying someone you may find yourself in a divorce situation in many years later. My point of view is to look around and understand what I really want and see in that person. Afterall, theres 6 billion people out there and at least 3 billion are females. Definitely can find one just maybe not now or not yet !
There are other things to think about now !
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