19/1/2010 12.51pm

It was a childhood (am i still considered a child ?) promise to marry someone. I foresee myself being older, wiser and mature. Now, looking back, I want to tell my 2001 self that not much has changed. Sure, army made me mentally tougher, but, I am still the same old me :)

I couldn't be there and she couldn't be there due to work / school. And, we are not even together anymore. Still, it will be a romantic thought to follow with the promise isn't it ? One that you made when you were naive and young (I was 17 at that time she was 16). I wanted to be there but can't and even if I were there, it's gonna be a one man show.

The path that we walked often leaves us scratching our heads at the destinations. You often wonder "Why didn't I take the shortcut?" "Why did I walk all these unnecessary paths?" For me, I always believe in this "Because, God wanted me to take a longer route to learn something". How true is that. Without the miles, will I still be the same runner? Can I even run further next time? Definitely not. Walk the longer path when you are young so that it's much shorter to the destination when you are old.

Still, speaking of relationships, I've entered the same mode that I was pre-17. Totally not affected by girls around me. I don't see the need to get into relationships just as what I felt when I was in secondary school. Simply because, I am not interested ? Single-hood is so liberating that it enables my own character to shine and not be dampened by a partner.

Is time running out for me? I doubt so, there's no expiry to a man's eligibility.

When I was 17, things were sweet. I saw a lot to life in that year compared to any other years. For the first time in my life, I learn to open up to someone and let them share my burdens. I take on other people's burden as well, those that are well beyond what people of my age group can handle. I learn to let go what I held so passionately all my life- to give up soccer as a career. I always wanted that but I saw my limits at 17 yrs old and decided to stop it after giving my all. I did try ! At 17, I fell down and got up. It is the best lesson I can give myself. Nothing in life can break me down, I felt invincible ever since and felt that if I put my time and effort, I can achieve anything I want. At 17, I also learn a lot about girls and know that they behave very differently from guys. There's so much I learn from her that I tend to generalize it to every girl I see (Still, it's fairly accurate). I think at 17, I gave everything as romantically as I could.

This is me at 25 reporting.