Smart one liners from monkey island



"Today, by myself, twelve people I've beaten.

From the size of your gut, I'd guess they were eaten.



I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of.

It's too bad none of them are in your arms.



Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape.

I would if it would stop your WINE-ing.



My ninety-eight-year-old grandmother has bigger arms than you.

Yeah, but we've both got better bladder control than you.



I'm going to put your arm in a sling.

Why, are you studying to be a Nurse?



My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces.

I'm surprised you can count that high.



Hey, look over there!

Yeah, yeah, I know: It's a Three-Headed monkey.



Your knuckles I'll grind to a splintery paste.

I thought the bean dip had a strange taste.



Your arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met.

So that's why you're scratching. I'd go see a vet.



People consider my fists lethal weapons.

Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned.



Only once have I met such a coward.

He must have taught you every thing you know.



You're the ugliest creature I've seen in my life.

I'm shocked that you never have gazed at your wife.



My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks.

An over-the-counter defoliant could help with that problem.



I've out-wrestled Octopi with these arms.

I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might.



Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lip?

It's laugher that's caused by your feathery grip."